4-5-6 in Cee-Lo!

The odds of rolling a 4, 5, 6 in Cee-Lo are 1 in 36 (2.7%)

You're either going to get this stat or you're not depending on if you were ever ghetto enough to learn about the game Cee-Lo. I was! Cee-Lo is a dice game that can be played in hallways, back alleys, desktops, basically anywhere there are 3x dice, a hard surface and gravity. It is pure gambling and all luck and if you want to learn about the rules go here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cee-lo). If you want to play, go to jail or Compton.

In Cee-Lo, rolling a 4, 5, 6 is an automatic win. If you roll it, game over, you win. BUT. Rolling a 1, 2, 3 is an automatic loss so go figure. So what are the odds? This is a simple problem really.

Let's say you roll them separately (NOT my favored Cee-Lo strategy). On the first die you can roll a 4 a 5 or a 6 giving odds of 3/6 or 1/2. Let's say it's a 4. Next die must be a 5 or a 6 giving you 2/6 odds (1/3). Say it's a 5. That leaves the last die a 1/6 chance that you will get the remaining # (6) you need for a 4,5,6. Still with me? Now multiply those odds:

1/2 x 1/3 x 1/6 = 1/36

Huzzah! You did it, now collect all the singles in the pile in front of you and take off before you get arrested or jacked cause if you're playing Cee-Lo, you're probably in the ghetto. Godspeed!

(http://forum.bodybuilding.com/archive/index.php/t-119092701.html)

Unprotected Sex!

The odds that a Pregnancy will result from a Single Act of Unprotected Sex are approximately 1 in 25 (0.04%)

Don't let this be YOUR future child...

Whoa, kids. I know what you're thinking. Hot shit! I can have unprotected sex twenty-four times scott-free before I even have to worry!

Well, sorry to burst your idiot bubble but if you think that then
1) you suck ass at math and have no idea how probability works
2) you should start thinking of names for the idiot child you're about to have (I'ma call him Biff)

For the rest of you, let's break this down.

Basically this is an issue of timing. Now, full disclosure: I'm not a scientist but I have it on good authority that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Now, to make babies... I don't know, but a woman can only get pregnant on approximately 2 days in every 28 of their cycle. But then she also needs a dude's spermatazoa to eat the egg or whatever and those little fuckers can only survive for around 2 days once in her stomach. This gives us odds of jot, scratch, erase = 11%!

But even if these two windows do happen to overlap after your shitty Junior Prom in the back of that shitty Pinto, there's some good news: Sometimes the spermatazoa don't always eat the eggs! In fact, when together they only do their thing 1/2 to 1/4 of the time they're all chilling. This drops the odds down to between 3-5% that you'll have to explain to your son (Biff) that he was the result of a drunken irresponsible and horribly awkward night for everyone.

Seriously though, 3-5% is a lot. Like 85% odds in the first year if you keep at it, but whatever, it's your life to roll the dice with. Consider yourself warned so don't bitch to me when you're rail-roaded into marrying said girl you brought to J-Prom who now resents you cause you got her preggers (and you didnt't even wanna go with her!) and then have an idiot son named Biff who sucks at math. Good luck with that though.

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_odds_of_getting_pregnant_if_you_had_sex_only_one_time)

Roulette!

The odds that you will hit a single number on a Single Spin of the
(American) Roulette wheel are 1 in 38. (2.6%).

Ahhhh gambling. I pretend to know what's going on at the roulette table but I don't. Pick a number and pray you get lucky! It's really like a mini lotto. I think. I don't know cause if I'm ever near a table my dopamine receptors are going haywire from the flashing lights, clanging noises, and cocktail waitresses attire, or lack thereof.

I know you can bet on random stuff but this stat is just putting $1 on your favorite number 1-36. American Roulette has 2 dead numbers (0 and 00) which mean the house wins automatically if it lands on either. Ergo - $1 on 1 number is 37 to 1 against and if you get lucky the casino will pay you 35 to 1. What does this mean. It means enjoy the free drinks and those cocktail dresses cause like the lotto, you're better off paying someone else that dollar to kick you in the nuts instead of gambling with it. Nahhhhh, I'm just playing. It means that for every $1 you bet playing roulette you should EXPECT to lose $0.05 cents every time. So...bet small and make up your losses by getting shit faced on the free booze. I'm totally serious now.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roulette#Bet_odds_table_.28American_roulette.29)

Heart Attack!

The lifetime odds that you will die as the result of
Heart Disease/Heart Attack are approximately 1 in 5 (20%)

Ha! I bet you though that was a stroke patient but it's former Vice President Dick Cheney with his signature scowl. I was originally going to use him for the statistic on 'Accidentally Getting Shot in the Face' but seeing as he's the record holder for most heart attacks this works too.

So...good news - This is the most common cause of death, meaning every other conceivable way you could die is less likely. Celebrate by smoking, eating terrible food, and not exercising!

Not so good news - After his fifth heart explosion, Cheney had a pump installed to circulate blood for him and now has NO pulse. I shit you not, the dude's part robot which means we all have to go back to the drawing board and figure out how to stop him for good. Decapitation seems the best bet but this is Cheney so no promises it will work.

(http://www.livescience.com/environment/050106_odds_of_dying.html)

Hat Trick!

If you saw Wayne Gretzky play one professional hockey game at random in his career, the odds that he would score a Hat Trick were approximately 1 in 30 ( 3.7%)

The Great One...Will there be another like him? I doubt it now that professional sports have specialized so much but time will tell. With just about every other record in the book, Gretzky has more 3+ goal games than anyone at 50. Still not as cool as the record for Gordie Howe hat tricks (1 goal, 1 assist, 1 fight) but I'll give him props anyway. Hear that Gretzky??? Props.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_career_achievements_by_Wayne_Gretzky)

Italia!

UPDATE: The current odds that Italy will repeat as World Cup Champions are approximately 1 in 14 (7.14%)

I couldn't find a proper picture of an Italian player diving- the cornerstone of their strategy being to roll around on the ground, grab a knee in pretend agony and groan every time an opposing player comes near them. Instead, enjoy this legit photo of Zidane punking an italian for real, probably to see what happens when one actually gets hurt. Zidane's a dick too though. Go Argentina!

(http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/11/world-cup-2010-south-afri_n_590550.html#s93289) The bookies added two points, which is why you never trust a bookie.

Muuuurder!

The odds that a Homicide will go unsolved are approximately
1 in 2.75 (37.3%)

Wow, I didn't even know it was that high, not that we shouldn't be throwing all our resources at locking up minorities who smoke marijuana, it's just...Now that Law and Order has been cancelled, I'm scared that numbers gonna skyrocket. Those motherfuckers were putting away like 3 bad guy a week. This will only embolden the evildoers.

(http://ask.yahoo.com/20060531.html)

Blackjack!

The odds of being dealt a Blackjack from a new shuffled deck are approximately1 in 21 ( 4.83 %)

Still feel special about getting paid 3 to 2? One day Ima find this Mr. 'House' dude that keeps taking everyones money and kick his ass.

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_probability_of_being_dealt_a_Blackjack)

Planned Teen Pregnancy!

The odds that a Teen Pregnancy is the result of Planning are
1 in 8.5 (12%)

I see the logic...I mean, if you're going to ruin your life, might as well get it over when you're young and not waste time following your hopes and dreams and whatnot. Just think of all that time and energy saved, plus, you have a baby!

(http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_024FactSheet.pdf)

Audit!

The odds that your tax return will be Audited in a year are roughly
1 in 130 (0.77%)

Ben Franklin said that only two things are certain in life, "death and taxes". President Lincoln set up the IRS to make sure you could take care of both in one place.

(http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Taxes/Avoidanaudit/P33948.asp)

Falling Down!

The odds that you will die by Falling Down in your lifetime are 1 in 246 (0.4%)

Yet, the odds that you will die by Michael Douglas shooting you in the face with a sawed off shotgun are 1 in 30. Movie joke, bitches.

(http://www.v1news.com/page4/1/odds_of_dying/odds_of_dying.htm)

Supreme Court!

The odds that the Supreme Court will Rule on a Formally Filed Petition in a given year are approximately 1 in 90 (1.1%)

They say they get too many cases a year to deliver opinions (~7,000) but the real reason for their leisurely pace is that they have a Foosball tournament to get back to in the judge's chamber. Little known fact: Ginsberg is a semi-pro foosball player. Whoda thunk it?

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_cases_does_the_US_Supreme_Court_hear_each_year)

Car Crashes!

The odds that you will die in a Car Accident are 1 in 228 (0.43 %)

Big Car eat little car, nom nom nom....