Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Powerball!

The odds of hitting thePowerball Jackpotare
1 in 195, 249, 054. (0.0000005 %)















Coming soon to a city and state near you! New ways to throw away hard earned money! New voluntary taxes based on hollow dreams and false hopes! New ways to take advantage of people's inability to process really large numbers! And possibly even new trailer park multi-millionaires!!! We should all be so lucky.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Muuuurder!

The odds that a Homicide will go unsolved are approximately
1 in 2.75 (37.3%)



Wow, I didn't even know it was that high, not that we shouldn't be throwing all our resources at locking up minorities who smoke marijuana, it's just...Now that Law and Order has been cancelled, I'm scared that numbers gonna skyrocket. Those motherfuckers were putting away like 3 bad guy a week. This will only embolden the evildoers.



Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hermaphrodites!

The odds that a pregnancy will result in the birth of a Hermaphrodite are approximately 1 in 250,000 (0.0004%)


Now, I'm not gonna go out on a limb and say that Lady Gaga is a Hermaphrodite, thats for you, and bookies, and her traumatized boyfriend to discuss. Not that I'm above that or anything, I just prefer dealing with facts and quantifiable data...With that said, Lady Gaga is mentally retarded. And the creative director for The Muppets dresses her.

(This number may be off, my figure is from the NIH and cited in this book - http://www.amazon.com/Odds-R-Roger-Schlaifer/dp/0553383469, most internet answers seemed far too high)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Blackjack!

The odds of being dealt a Blackjack from a new shuffled deck are approximately1 in 21 ( 4.83 %)


Still feel special about getting paid 3 to 2? One day Ima find this Mr. 'House' dude that keeps taking everyones money and kick his ass.