Thursday, March 3, 2011

4-5-6 in Cee-Lo!

The odds of rolling a 4, 5, 6 in Cee-Lo are 1 in 36 (2.7%)

You're either going to get this stat or you're not depending on if you were ever ghetto enough to learn about the game Cee-Lo. I was! Cee-Lo is a dice game that can be played in hallways, back alleys, desktops, basically anywhere there are 3x dice, a hard surface and gravity. It is pure gambling and all luck and if you want to learn about the rules go here ( If you want to play, go to jail or Compton.
In Cee-Lo, rolling a 4, 5, 6 is an automatic win. If you roll it, game over, you win. BUT. Rolling a 1, 2, 3 is an automatic loss so go figure. So what are the odds? This is a simple problem really.
Let's say you roll them separately (NOT my favored Cee-Lo strategy). On the first die you can roll a 4 a 5 or a 6 giving odds of 3/6 or 1/2. Let's say it's a 4. Next die must be a 5 or a 6 giving you 2/6 odds (1/3). Say it's a 5. That leaves the last die a 1/6 chance that you will get the remaining # (6) you need for a 4,5,6. Still with me? Now multiply those odds:
1/2 x 1/3 x 1/6 = 1/36
Huzzah! You did it, now collect all the singles in the pile in front of you and take off before you get arrested or jacked cause if you're playing Cee-Lo, you're probably in the ghetto. Godspeed!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Unprotected Sex!

The odds that a Pregnancy will result from a Single Act of Unprotected Sex are approximately 1 in 25 (0.04%)

Don't let this be YOUR future child...

Whoa, kids. I know what you're thinking. Hot shit! I can have unprotected sex twenty-four times scott-free before I even have to worry!
Well, sorry to burst your idiot bubble but if you think that then
1) you suck ass at math and have no idea how probability works
2) you should start thinking of names for the idiot child you're about to have (I'ma call him Biff)
For the rest of you, let's break this down.
Basically this is an issue of timing. Now, full disclosure: I'm not a scientist but I have it on good authority that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Now, to make babies... I don't know, but a woman can only get pregnant on approximately 2 days in every 28 of their cycle. But then she also needs a dude's spermatazoa to eat the egg or whatever and those little fuckers can only survive for around 2 days once in her stomach. This gives us odds of jot, scratch, erase = 11%!
But even if these two windows do happen to overlap after your shitty Junior Prom in the back of that shitty Pinto, there's some good news: Sometimes the spermatazoa don't always eat the eggs! In fact, when together they only do their thing 1/2 to 1/4 of the time they're all chilling. This drops the odds down to between 3-5% that you'll have to explain to your son (Biff) that he was the result of a drunken irresponsible and horribly awkward night for everyone.
Seriously though, 3-5% is a lot. Like 85% odds in the first year if you keep at it, but whatever, it's your life to roll the dice with. Consider yourself warned so don't bitch to me when you're rail-roaded into marrying said girl you brought to J-Prom who now resents you cause you got her preggers (and you didnt't even wanna go with her!) and then have an idiot son named Biff who sucks at math. Good luck with that though.